Having listened to an all day Sergeant-Staff Sergeant Half Time Report every day during football season for four years, I’ve come to learn a lot about the NFL corporation. I like watching football, but I often have to look past the fact that every game has some kind of payoff to some official which makes the individual players suffer even more than they do when they’re not on the field. I’ve come to notice little things that affect the players on the field psychologically that football fans look past due to the intensity of the sport.
I took it upon myself to watch the Lions @ Cowboys game yesterday, but the amount of corruption just in the first half pissed me off so much that I couldn’t watch it anymore. I thought, “Lions got this, they’re already protesting.” Then I come to find out this morning that the obviously paid-off refs make a controversial pass interference call which gave Dallas the ball and lead their “win.” I couldn’t help but laugh as I read NFL officials defending the league against Lions fans saying that they’re “sorry for the ‘incompetence'” of the refs. Yeah, sure, incompetence. We all know the shit was rigged. It’s kind of like when the Green Bay Packers had 8 points of contact on the ball against the Seahawks in 2012 but somehow the Seahawks got an interception. It was at that point in time that I stopped watching football for a while.
Now, I have a soft spot for the Lions because the Lion is King and He reigns; this is a team embedded with rookies who play as if they’ve been in the league for 10 years. They take the shit and throw it back in the other team’s face with no regrets. I noticed after the first penalty was called on the LIONS (receiving) after #WHOGIVESASHIT on the Cowboys had a grossly apparent facemask penalty which allowed for the tackle of the punt receiver that wasn’t called because it happened before the receiver caught the ball and Dallas would have to re-kick. Now that I think about it, that call would have made the clock run out before Dallas could have made that “winning” play. This was in like the first 5 minutes of the game. I almost stopped watching, but then I noticed some things that made me keep the TV on:
The first thing was the change of the home-away jerseys. This kind of psychological mind game inhibited by the “controllers” in New York is a little detail which changes the entirety of the game. You have players that have been wearing their home jerseys at home for years, then you change it around and you have a different mindset of both the home and the away teams. Not to mention the fans who come to their home stadium to see the away jerseys on their favorite team’s backs and cheer twice as hard. I could tell after not watching the game for a few years the change in dynamic of the whole stadium. Fans were cheering harder, getting more pissed off, and I even noticed more fighting in the stands.
After the facemask penalty was not called, the Lions started doing something interesting which made me laugh and love the Lions and Matthew Stafford’s pretty face even more: they stopped caring about penalties. I noticed the influx of penalties which changed the numbers on the clocks and their field position which they overcame. In case you didn’t notice, the Lions were playing for their own player stats vice the stats of the entire team — as they should. Their coach was fucking pissed but that didn’t seem to phase them. Stafford threw the ball out of bounds when he didn’t have any guys open rather than getting sacked and risking an injury; his receivers and linebackers improvised the plays rather than running in their straight NFL 2K3 lines which gave them a better field position and made up for their penalties. I was like, “Damn, this is my favorite team.” I’d never seen anything like it before. Anyone with the Lions on their fantasy teams must be pretty happy.
Then I started thinking about the amount of fines these players and/or the team was going to have to pay in these penalties, and NFL sponsor commercials came on. It all comes back to the money and contracts. The controllers in New York distribute the contracts, the players sign them, and now they’re under control of NFL corporation conglomerates and their corrupt corporate sponsors. But they make it seem like they have some control over the money that they’re getting from their sponsors except for the fact that you see Peyton Manning in every fucking NFL commercial known to man. It reminds me of my lovely Brett Favre being used as an NFL martyr for corporations during the time that his wife had breast cancer. I always thought, “Man, do they give this man any time to see his wife?” Nope. How are any of these players supposed to have anything close to a decent home life when they’re always on the road and always being told to go here or there for some press conference, appearance, interview, etc.?
And THEN, Joe “Buttfuck” Buck has the gal and the audacity to call out Matt Prater (Lions field goal kicker) for “violating” the NFL substance abuse policy which got him suspended for 4 games. He probably incurred a lot of fines and had to deal with the suffering of the abuse that he got from the sports media. Let me just make a wild guess here, based off of real life rather than sports media-propagated facts: Prater smoked weed. So, the players can take Armstrong-esque steroid shots, but if you smoke a joint to calm the pain of years of football playing stemmed from early childhood — you get punished. We can’t have our football players smoking weed and being belligerent! If I were the Lions’ coach, I’d tell ’em all to go out and get a pound each, chief on that all week til the next game. I’d say, “If you haven’t smoked a pound of some sticky icky by next week’s game, your fine will be an out-right SPANKING! And 21 Marine Corps push-ups.” I wonder what would happen if all of the Detroit Lions got suspended for 4 games! O=)
But, don’t worry about the players. They love football and get paid millions of dollars to play it, all you gotta do is sit in front of your TV, root for your favorite team, and laugh as Manning hums the “Nation Wide” jingle as he’s eating a fucking sandwich. I think that commercial says a lot more about the life of a pro football player than any other commercial out there. Here’s some advice: if you love your NFL teams, stop buying the apparel and stop showing up at the games. I think it’s about time for a fan-protest due to the way these guys get treated. They get treated like prostitutes: traded, used, and abused. Time to say “Fuck you, NFL.” Let’s get back to the basics.
Evil Conduct = my favoritest Oi! band of allllllll time, Cock Sparrer a close tie for 2nd. 🙂
Fun Fact — Take it or Leave it:
I saw Buttfuck Buck outside of Barnes and Noble right after I got out of the Corps. He came up to me, a whole 5’3″, MAYBE 160lbs, he said, “You’re a sports writer.”
“What in the hell are you talking about? Who the fuck are you?” I responded, and now my senses were tingling.
“I’m Joe Buck.”
“So, I’m a famous sports broadcaster.”
“What the fuck do you want?”
“I just wanted to come to tell you that the Lions are going to lose, and they’re going to continue to lose.”
“Good for them, why should I care?”
He smiled a creepy smile, “‘Cause if you write about it, I’m gonna….” then he frowned with a scared look on his face as I reached into my purse for my knife, “Wait, I shouldn’t say that.”
“Shouldn’t say what? Did you really come here to threaten a Marine, not just a Marine, a fucking CORPORAL in a fucking Marine Corps town?”
He walked away hurriedly as some Marines started to crowd around the scene I was making. I yelled at him, “That’s what I thought. Go back to fucking Los Angeles or wherever the fuck you came from you nasty little fuck.”
And that’s when we named him Joe “Buttfuck” Buck as I walked to my car with a handful of fellow Marines staying back, waiting… =) I’m sure he had a rough day that day before he went back to the nasty little rock he climbed out from.