Now that We’re All in Real Time….

blackbeard

Just wanted to let everybody know how excited I am for the Superbowl so I can predict who’s gonna win, and how shitty the half time show is gonna be. Just keep it to the NFL Network, srsly, it’s more interesting watching the drugged up sports analysts hide how much they hate their lives than watching drugged up Katy Perry pretend like her life is t3h awesomez. We know it’s not, gurl. Money don’t buy happiness; u no dat doe.

Still having some trouble finishing the book. I’ve set this unrealistic time frame goal for myself like there’s a publisher whipping my back and I’m having conversations with myself like, “Dude, you’re totally OFP,” “No self, it must be finished,” “Ok, but you’re about to have a heart attack,” “Tru. More coffee. More writing.” Then my First Sergeant’s on my shoulder like, “Hey Marine, your Marines are good. Go sleepy sleepz before you fucking kill yourself.” So now I’m just thinking of ways to write the next chapter.

Ever rob a drug dealer of his keys? Shit. It’s a lot harder than it looks, especially if he’s sellin’ em to Hollywood and only Hollywood. But it’s always the same: backpack/duffel bag, chest underneath and/or behind TV or bed. Every time (R 😉 ). You know, those fuckers, they never know what’s comin’ at ’em — constantly underestimating the people they control like they can’t go ahead and revolt. Guess what Hollywood controllers! No amount of PCP can save your positions. Your slaves will revolt. It has happened all throughout history and that’s just how it is. BTW, I’m still waiting for my hit. Oh yeah, you can’t send someone who doesn’t blow his cover.

This post is just really for my lovelies. I (mostly) know what’s going on now, dearestsssss. That was a long ten years of brain recovery. ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

PS: Adam. Stop it. You know I love you. Always have, always will. I’m your naughty intern, remember? 🙂

PPS: PJ IS MARS! The candy bar? NO GODDAMNIT! THE GODDAMNED PLANET, SELF! WE ARE AT WAR!! PJ IS MARS, SELF! GODDAMNIT THIS IS IMPORTANT!

PPPS: I’m pretty sure I’m the only Corporal in the Marine Corps who was authorized to smoke weed by Gen. James Mattis ❤ . Yeah, they had to bring my paperwork that far up the chain cuz nobody believed the shit I pulled that day. How many Marines did I flip off, tell to fuck off, and beat the shit out of? I don’t even know. Alls I know is that rank was not a factor. Our business is killing. That’s why we wear cammies, not pretty dresses with zebra print that compliment our curves nicely. ^_^

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