Heroin Disbursement and the War on Society (Chp IV: Oh. Shit.)

When the husband came back home from work, it was like he had forgotten the whole thing. This lead me to suspect he had some kind of multi-personality disorder which was generated from the drugs he was doing throughout his life. He used cocaine at work to help him focus, then did heroin to equal out the effects of the cocaine to bring him to some strange state of being that was almost normal. I could never find the drugs, and I could never catch him doing it which helped me draw the conclusion that he was doing them at work and/or while I was sleeping.

Sometimes he was able to act like a decent human being and we were able to have fun together, but most of the time it felt forced. I was in a constant state of despair. Sometimes he would wake up in the middle of the night and stare at me like he was thinking about ways to kill me. I had constant nightmares from the PTSD I had from my shitty upbringing and when I was living on the streets, and these always bothered him. It sent him into a frenzy where sometimes he would yell at me to go back to sleep, and other times he would hold me and tell me everything was going to be ok. Crazy making at its finest. The only time I felt happy was when I was at school causing a riot in the classroom, when I was working with Adam causing a riot on the internet, and when PJ and I were together causing a riot in the bedroom.

I was seeing less and less of him for what seemed like a looooong time, but it was only a couple of weeks. He was finishing up the film he was working on. The next time I saw him, he ran in and said, “Baby! baby! Wake up!” So I ran out of my room, grabbed my knife, and said, “WHO’S TRYING TO KILL US?!”

He laughed, “A lot of people, but not right now. You can put your weapon of opportunity away.”
“Oh, ” I smirked.
“I have great news, sweetpea.”
“What is it?! Oh! Are you –”
“Yes. I am done. With. That. Fucking. Movie.”
“Yayyyyyy!!!”

We danced around and hugged eachother real tight.

“But that isn’t the good news.”
“It isn’t?”
“Nope.”
“Then what is it?”
“The premier is coming up soon aaaaaaaaaand….” my eyes shined at him, “I want you! to come with me!”
“Awesome. HAhaha!!” I laughed an evil laugh.
He gave me the I-know-you’re-being-naughty look, “What are you thinking?”
“Nothing! I’m just excited to write about it.”
He looked confused, “That’s it?”
“Well, and of course being there with you at the premier silly.”
“Why do I feel like you’re planning something? Are you gonna rip up the movie?”
“Since when am I a critic?”
“Really sweetpea?”
“What?”
“You ARE a critic, you just criticise in your head rather than outloud.”
“Hehe. I do do that.”
“You do do.”
“Speaking of do do….”
“Yup, time to smoke some weeeeeeeed!!!!”

Things were a lot better when he was done with the movie. He was a lot happier and he was able to come down and see me more often, but the problem with that was the husband grew more and more suspicious and was treating me more like shit. I was worried about going to the premier because it didn’t coincide with the time that I spent at Adam’s house, I knew that PJ was coming to pick me up but I didn’t know when. He told me that he stayed at the hotel down the street when he came to see me so that incase anything happened, I could go to him and always gave me his room number. I was on break from school, and it wasn’t too long before my anxiety about the premier took over and I finally told the husband after I knew he had just gone and seen another prostitute.

“Next week, I’m going with Jack Holiday to his movie premier.”
“WHAT?!”
“He invited me to go, and I’m going, and I’m going to write about it, and you can’t stop me.”
“If you go to that premier, I’m going to find you, and I’m going to kill you.”
“You know what?! I’m sick and fucking tired of you threatening to kill me. You’re cheating on me, you always have been, and you know it. So it’s time to fess up and realize that we need to get a divorce.”

That set him off, and he went back into the bedroom. I heard the pump of a shotgun, and I know that sound. I had no idea he even had it, so I figured he bought it when he found out I was having an affair. I ran for the door. He had to have been fucked up because he shot, and he missed. I got hit by a few of the rounds, but it was on my arm, and I knew how to apply first aid. I’d seen PJ earlier that day, so I knew right where to go, but I was in shock from being shot at and I could barely hear anything. I barely made it to the hotel room and I couldn’t figure out where the fucking room was. I finally found it and I was crying.

“Baby, what are you doing here? Are you ok?”
“No! I told him I was going to the premier and that we should get a divorce and he fucking shot at me! I need one of those towels.”

He was in shock too ’cause I was bleeding pretty good from all the adrenaline rushing, so I told him he needed to apply pressure. I started to cry.

“I can’t go, I can’t go or else he’s gonna kill me.”
“Baby girl, I know. That bitch threatened to kill me too.”
“Where do I go? What do I do?”
“Let’s just calm down and figure this out…. You brought weed with you, didn’t you?” he smiled.
“Hehe, always prepared. But, you need to hold this here until I stop bleeding.”
“We need to get the round out.”

After a closer examination, we found that I was grazed and no makeshift surgery or rush to the hospital was needed.

“You’re doing awfully well for being shot at.”

I just looked at him with a smirk on my face.

“Oh yeah! How could I forget?”

We both started laughing and heard a pounding on the door. It was the husband, we peeked out the window and found that he had the gun. I ran for cover.

“Baby!!! Get down! He has a FUCKING weapon!!!”
“He’s not gonna shoot baby, he doesn’t have the balls.”
“NEVER UNDERESTIMATE YOUR OPPONENT!!”

He took cover.

“Don’t think about it, Bob. You don’t want us to call the police.”
“You’re NOT going to call the police!”
“You just shot at your wife, you fucking idiot! You think the police are gonna be on your side? They’re gonna start questioning you, and you don’t want them to find out about that operation you have going on, do you?”
“FUCK! BOTH OF YOU!”

He was gone, but we didn’t know for how long.

“What am I going to do? I can’t go home with you.”
He sighed, “Nope…. You can’t. But!! I think I have a solution to this problem. Leave your car here, and come with me. We’ll come back and get it later.”

Turned out he had just bought a house in the area that his wife didn’t know about.

“Have you had this the whole time?”
“Well, no. I just bought it recently in case something like this would happen.”
“Always prepared.”
“I did learn something from you, you know.”

I stared off into the distance and he knew something was wrong.

“It’s the books, isn’t it?”
I sighed, “Yes, and the paintings…. and my work station… and the weed.”
“Well, I have the weed covered.”

He pulled out a huge jar of the crystalliest snowiest weed I’d ever seen before.

“What…. is….. thisss??”
“Lemon. Fucking. Larry.”
“I love the lemon…. and…. I love the Larry.”
“And I love. You. Sweetpea.”

I smiled at him and put the jar down. We went into his bedroom this time.
I know men, and I know bachelor pads which this was. It was pretty much a mess, so I told him that when he was away taking care of the things he needed to take care of, I would clean and reorganize everything. He was kind of weird about it, but I knew that everything was gonna be alright.

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